60 Second Movie Review - Bolt

Bolt



I'm gonna be fully honest with you, I was close to tears at Mittens' story, a good balance seeing as I nearly pissed myself laughing at everything else she said. Very good, take the whole family.

I give it:




Bolt: Ow, what's this red liquid coming out of my paw?

Mittens: It's called blood hero.

Bolt: Do I need it?

Mittens: Only if you want to stay alive.

Rik In Real Life - Go Away Birdy, I Can't Play Now

So check it, the power's out in half the house and I'm sitting in the kitchen, trying to get ahold of someone who can remedy that. When all of a sudden, a happy little sparrow or swallow or some othe cute little bird sticks his head under the screen door and catches my eye. Now you should know that the gap under my screen door is HUGE, I've been meaning to fix it but that's another story. Point is, he gets all the way inside and stars looking around. At which point I realize that if he gets in, I'm gonna have to chase his feathey ass around this house to get him out. So he and I have ourselves a little starring match and I guess I won because he turned tail, squeezed back through the gap, and flew off. I sure showed him.

60 Second Movie Review - Quantum of Solace

Quantum of Solace



The only thing better than the movie was the theme. I cannot get that riff out of my head. Craig is awesome, James Bond will return and hopefully so will he.

I give it:



James Bond: Tell M the lead was a dead end.
Tanner: He says it was a dead end.
M: Damn! He killed him.

60 Second Movie Review - Role Models

Role Models

Sorry guys, totaly spaced this week and forgot to put up my review.
I haven't got a lot to say other than KICK ASS! Semi-lame premise pulled out very well. Plus, the movie culminates in LARP with KISS! How frackin' awesome is that?

I give it:

Ronnie: Suck it, Reindeer Games!

Danny: I'm not Ben Affleck.

Ronnie: You white, then you Ben Affleck.

Wheeler: You *are* white.

Danny: That's true, I am white.

60 Second Movie Review - Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zack and Miri Make a Porno



Hmm, so that's what Jason Mewes' penis looks like.

Oh My God, endlessly funny, Smith has two choices, return to the View Askewniverse, or keep make films like this, or make comics, but that's three choices.



Delaney: Can you believe this shit?

Deacon: Can you believe this shit?!?