60 Second Movie Review - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button



First thing's first, see this movie well rested and on an empty bladder. Not that it's borring, heavens no, but it is over 2 and a half hours long.
And it was absolutly wonderful. It recieves my vote for best drama of 2008.
Some of my favorite parts include one old man's reminicing
about getting struck by lighting, seven different times, and any scene with the tug boat captain.
Hands down the best movie you can see over Christmas break.

I give it:


Benjamin Button: My name is Benjamin Button, and I was born under unusual circumstances. While, everyone else was agin', I was gettin' younger... all alone

60 Second Movie Review - Valkyrie

Valkyrie



Amazing,
without a doubt the best historical drama this year.

I give it:


Col. Claus von Stauffenberg: I'm a soldier, but in serving my country, I have betrayed my conscience.

60 Second Movie Review - Yes Man

Yes Man



Very funny, your standard Jim Carey fare.

I'm not gonna lie, there are better movies this week and next, but this is what it set out to be, a good, funny, comedy.

I give it:


Allison: Are you stalking me?
Carl Allen: No, i would never do that.
Carl Allen: Oh by the way, the new furniture looks great from the yard.

60 Second Movie Review - The Tale of Despereaux

The Tale of Despereaux



A very nice, heart-warming story that was very well acted by the cast, it's been quite a while since I've seen or heard Christopher Lloyd.

A great X-mas movie for the whole family.

I give it:


Girl: Are you a rat?
Despereaux: No!
Girl: A mouse?
Despereaux: I, am a gentleman.

60 Second Movie Review - The Day the Earth Stood Still

The Day the Earth Stood Still



Do not try to compare it to the original as they have vastly different messages.
This one however, KICKED ASS and took names.

I Give It:


Klatu: If the Earth dies, you die. If you die, the Earth survives.

60 Second Movie Review - Punisher: War Zone

Punisher: War Zone



Awesome! Fully awesome. I had no problem with the Thomas Jane/Miami flick, even the Dolph pic in the 80s was OK, but this, this was beyond cool.

Ray was the right choice to play Frank Castle. Screw the critics, The Punisher doesn't have to be charming or witty, he is a cold, calculating
killer without mercy.

Can't wait for a Marvel Knights reboot of Daredevil.

I give it:

Priest: God be with you Frank

Frank: Sometimes I'd like to get my hands on God.

60 Second Movie Review - Transporter 3

Transporter 3



Solid pic, didn't wow me, good way to kill a couple of hours.

I give it:


Johnson: His beloved car will be his grave.

60 Second Movie Review - Bolt

Bolt



I'm gonna be fully honest with you, I was close to tears at Mittens' story, a good balance seeing as I nearly pissed myself laughing at everything else she said. Very good, take the whole family.

I give it:




Bolt: Ow, what's this red liquid coming out of my paw?

Mittens: It's called blood hero.

Bolt: Do I need it?

Mittens: Only if you want to stay alive.

Rik In Real Life - Go Away Birdy, I Can't Play Now

So check it, the power's out in half the house and I'm sitting in the kitchen, trying to get ahold of someone who can remedy that. When all of a sudden, a happy little sparrow or swallow or some othe cute little bird sticks his head under the screen door and catches my eye. Now you should know that the gap under my screen door is HUGE, I've been meaning to fix it but that's another story. Point is, he gets all the way inside and stars looking around. At which point I realize that if he gets in, I'm gonna have to chase his feathey ass around this house to get him out. So he and I have ourselves a little starring match and I guess I won because he turned tail, squeezed back through the gap, and flew off. I sure showed him.

60 Second Movie Review - Quantum of Solace

Quantum of Solace



The only thing better than the movie was the theme. I cannot get that riff out of my head. Craig is awesome, James Bond will return and hopefully so will he.

I give it:



James Bond: Tell M the lead was a dead end.
Tanner: He says it was a dead end.
M: Damn! He killed him.

60 Second Movie Review - Role Models

Role Models

Sorry guys, totaly spaced this week and forgot to put up my review.
I haven't got a lot to say other than KICK ASS! Semi-lame premise pulled out very well. Plus, the movie culminates in LARP with KISS! How frackin' awesome is that?

I give it:

Ronnie: Suck it, Reindeer Games!

Danny: I'm not Ben Affleck.

Ronnie: You white, then you Ben Affleck.

Wheeler: You *are* white.

Danny: That's true, I am white.

60 Second Movie Review - Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zack and Miri Make a Porno



Hmm, so that's what Jason Mewes' penis looks like.

Oh My God, endlessly funny, Smith has two choices, return to the View Askewniverse, or keep make films like this, or make comics, but that's three choices.



Delaney: Can you believe this shit?

Deacon: Can you believe this shit?!?

Holiday Posts - Happy Holloween!

Happy Holloween 2008!

60 Second Movie Review - Saw V

Saw V



Awesome, this frickin series will NEVER end, I'm already eagerly awaiting Saw VI!



Jigsaw: Today, five people will become one, with the goal of surviving

Modern Ancient Chinese Wisdom - Literature

This is the first in a new series of posts.

Basically, I'm just gonna pass on the wisdom imparted to by the Holy Scrolls (Fortune Cookies).

Had lunch at Golden China on Garrison:

"A house without books is like a room without windows." -Anonymous

60 Second Movie Review - Max Payne

Max Payne



Sweet! The first act felt slow, and that husts its score, but then the pace picked up and didn't stop. The visual effects were top notch as well.

I Give It:


Lincoln DeNeuf: The Devil is building his army. Max Payne is looking for something that God wants to stay hidden. That is what makes him more dangerous.

60 Second Movie Review - Quarantine

Quarantine



Great googly moogly! With all the pessimistic outlooks before its release, I wasn't expecting much, but this was great! Despite the warnings of motion sickness posted on the doors to Screen 7, I felt fine. This is a true return the classic zombie horror, the people trapped are an eclectic cross section, terror, desperation, and more than one psychotic breakdown.

And talk about awesome kills, you've seen zombies shot, blown up, run over, crushed, set ablaze, torn asunder by helicoptor blades, and hell, even attacked by sharks! This however, is the first time I've seen a zombie have its head caved in with a video camera, the same camera being used to shoot the frickin' movie, in first person!

I Give It:


Angela Vidal: Tape everything you hear me? Tape everything!

60 Second Movie Review - Body of Lies

Body of Lies


Great film, an indepth look into the real front in the war on terror, that being the work of inteligence agents. Also, was it just me, or did the Jordanian GID director look alot like Andy Garcia?

I give it:


Ed Hoffman: Our world as we know it is much simpler...to put to an end than you might think.

SAW Marathon - 10/23/08

Starting at 4:25PM Local Time on Thursday, October 23.

All five Saw movies for just $18.

If it's in your area.

It isn't in mine.

Rik in SUR-Real Life - The Fresh Prince of Crawford, TX?

Now this might sound odd and random, even comming from me, but here it goes.
So I'm sitting here, watching the Fresh Prince series finale on Nick at Nite, and in the last pool house scene with Will and Carlton Will says "I'll always have your back C." to which Carlton replies "And I'll always have your your back, W." He pronouces W "double yoo" and I couldn't help but think that it would have sounded better as "dubya" a la Bush. That's when I noticed that Will's cap reads Crawford. Now, I don't know what his cap refers to, but thinking about the prez then noticing the name of the town near his "ranch" is damn wierd.
Not the first time today either. Earlier I'm talking about the movie "Grosse Point Blank" then the song "Blister in the Sun" starts playing, and that's the last song in the movie leading into the end credits. How's that for wierd?

JC Penny needs to double check thier math.

Since when is 30% of $30 ten bucks? And people wonder why our economy is screwed up.

Da na na naaa!

Converse get!
Found @ Ross 4 just $17!

60 Second Movie Review - Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist


Funny, smart, and a good time to be had. Nick and Norah is another modern romantic comedy
in the vein of Juno.
The film long search for Where's Fluffy gives a repetitive feeling that actually helps by tying the movie together.

I Give It:

Caroline: Norah! I found Jesus!

Rik in Real Life - @ the Movies: Ch ch ch... Hah hah hah...

Just saw the teaser poster for the Friday 13th reboot pic and I just had to post it.

60 Second Movie Review - Eagle Eye

Eagle Eye



NO SPOILERS

I'll have a full assesment up on Monday. Until then, just know that this movie is awesome, and is a Mendez Must-See.

Picture this, SkyNet, instead of believing itself superior to humanity just thinks it knows better than us and does whatever needed to protect the American public, even if it means killing the Pres, VP, Sec of State, etc.
Think GLaDOS in charge of national security and inteligence gathering. Oh, and bitchin' car chases too.

I Give It:

Agent Thomas Morgan: [to field agent] If you're staring at me, it better be because I'm the suspect. If not, get back to work or I swear I'll assign you all to something that involves touching shit with your hands!

Rik in Real Life - Just Call Me Paul Bunyon

I've been thinking of buying a chainsaw just to cut down this tree stump, one well placed kick took care of that this morning.

Rik in Real Life - Chillin' with Mr. Mantis

Just me taking a half-time smoke break with a praying mantis.

60 Second Movie Review - Burn After Reading

Burn After Reading

O...M...G..., W...T...F... Great movie, funnyier and stranger than No Country... somehow. A must see this week.

I Give It:

Chad Feldheimer: [over the phone] Osbourne Cox? I thought you might be wooorrried...about the secuuurrrity...of your shit

60 Second Movie Review - Rightrous Kill

Rightrous Kill

Great film, a gritty cop drama and murder mystery rolled into one, but it did feel like it was dragging at times. Great to see DeNiro and Pacino together.

I Give It:

Turk: Most people respect the badge. Everyone respects the gun.

60 Second Movie Review - Babylon A.D.

Babylon A.D.



Awesome movie, did not expect that. This has to be my new favorite Vin Deisel picture. I had a good time dispite the distractions (see 120 Sec Rant).

I Give It:

Toorop: I learned something that day. Too bad it was the day I died.

120 Second Moviegoing Rant - F#@K KIDS! Seriously, f#@k them.

I really fucking hate kids! The one to my right wouldn't stop asking "What's happening?" and two were running around and climbing on the railings. Damn kids.

Ross Finds - Socks & Run DMC

Ross, more than the occasional killer deal on Chucks.